Alarm Clocks and Other Annoying Devices

Today as I was rushing for my train in bike shoes (which as some of may know have ZERO flexibility in the sole) I realized why sane people don't run in bike shoes. I completed a 700m dash from the station to my apartment (to pick up my forgotten keys) and back to the station in slightly over 3minutes. I got on the train, and I peeled off layers of clothes that I had been wearing to protect me from the cold. I sat down on the train without realizing that I had chosen to sit across from my arch enemy!
Yes, evil takes the same train to work almost everyday as I do. She gets off one stop after I get on, but 9 out of 10 times she’ll put me in a bad mood to start off my morning. Today was no exception.

This annoying individual has decided that in case she falls asleep on the train she should set her cell phone alarm to make sure she doesn’t miss her stop. The alarm rings without fail 15 seconds after I get on the train every [bad word] morning! It’s not just any alarm, but the alarm with the exact same ring tone as my alarm. It's the one that gets me out of bed every morning at 620am and forces me into the drugly routine of dressing, eating, and preparing for the onslaught of poorly spoken English that comes with each day. That most hated of hated noises belongs to that of the devil himself, or herself as it seems to be.

I have dreamed of throwing her off the train, or using one of those 5 ton hammers from a Roadrunner cartoon to smash the phone to oblivion. Thinking about it, I guess the most obvious solution would be to change my alarm to a different ring tone. Like that’s going to happen. This is a matter of pride! Don't give in to EVIL! Besides, it's a popular ring tone so I know at least a few others must be thinking 5 ton hammers too!

Manners 101

Did you ever wonder where the impression that the Japanese are a polite people came from? Here’s a few thoughts.

At the beginning of club practices, students bow and say in unison “Hello” as well as the equivalent of “we look forward to learning from you” to their respective coaches. Additionally if at any time during the practice a teacher enters the gym, all students stop whatever they are doing (be it a practice drill or a game) and, once again in unison, say “hello.” It may help to note that the ping pong, boys and girls basketball, and girls (there is no boys as a rule) volleyball teams all practice in the same standard size, 2 court gym at the same time. That’s a lot of hellos!

At the end of practice, again in unison the students chant “Thank you very much” and “goodbye” to their coach. But here’s the kicker... they say thanks and goodbye to the court as well! Yeah they line up on the very edge just off the court and “thank you very much” and “goodbye” once again. P O L I T E. nuff said.

Black Ice

Wednesday morning there was a lot of black ice on the roads going to school. (Pretty hot biking conditions!) Anyways, I know that when it snows in Toyota there are no plows to clear the road, so I assumed there are no gravel trucks either.

How wrong I was. Like I said, I'm on my bike going to work as usual and I see a Japanese "gravel truck." It sadly consisted of two guys standing in the back of a pickup (or small Japanese equivalent) taking turns throwing shovel loads of salt on to the road behind them.

Overall a pretty sad site. But what took the cake was when this "gravel truck" skidded on the ice itself and the two guys in the back wiped out into the pile of salt. 20 minutes later I came across a two car accident in an area where the road had been "gravelled."

There you have it... Japanese "gravel trucks."

The Size of things.

Upon my return to Japan, I was struck by the smaller size of apartments in Japan. No literally... the doorway to my bathroom! Still smarts. I guess I was struck by it in a similar fashion when I visited the pads of friends and family this Xmas vacation.

I'm sure Ryan will attest to my sizing up his townhouse and repeatedly saying "Dude... Dude... this place is SO huge!" Yeah that was pretty much my first comment upon entering every house except for my parents' own house which I guess I have always been used to its size. I felt like a sardine feels like when it is realeased to the ocean.

Anyways, I'm back in the tin can again.

What is Miso?

For those of you wondering what Miso is... it's a Japanese soup. It's also the name of my departed, dear pet turtle. Miso was with me for my first 3 years in Japan.

He is best known for going 6 months without food, escaping his bowl by climbing a house plant, playing dead, and for his work for the peaceful termination of the apartheid regime and for laying the foundations for a new democratic South Africa.

(Above: Miso takes on 3 pirates twice his size!)

Anyways, leaving Miso to be, let's get on to me. A lot of people (Scott and Carrie) had been complaining to me about a lack of emails recently (the past 8 months) and in truth my delivery of group mails certainly had slowed down. After almost 3 1/2 years in Japan the pressure to deliver zany, waggish, rib-tickling (or other words meaning "funny" looked up in a thesaurus) mails has really put my jocular (also used the thesaurus here) character in an arduous position.

The answer: No. He didn't really. But It's a good example.
no sorry that's the answer to another question

The answer: Blog. I've been sassed (by Scott) into thinking that Blogs will take the pressure off creating masterfull works of humor everytime. Maybe the pressure will go... or maybe my blog just won't be interesting!!!! WOW what a concept. Read and judge for yourself.

One more advantage of Blogs is it allows everyone the chance to insult me, without their insults going to waste. Like just the other day, Scott (cause I like picking on him) totally burned me, but it went to waste because other people couldn't enjoy the berating he dished out! So go on... slag away... or say something nice too.

Question: Did Scott really do that?

Well hope you keep checking up... and more importantly, hope I keep writing.